Navigating Singleness During the Holidays

Matching pjs, proposals, baby announcements, and romantic Christmas movies. It is that time of year again. Us single adults are not the target audience when it comes to this. Who can we match our pjs with? Or take cute Christmas photos with? Then add in the fact that everyone around you is building their families, it's cold outside and the nights are long. This sounds like the makings of a sad R&B song!

Well sis, I'm here to tell you, first and foremost your feelings are valid. Secondly, you are not alone and I'm here to share a few tips to help you through this season. The truth is, you cannot avoid the holidays simply because you are single. Why miss out on all the festivities and being around your family because you are alone. our aunt is going to ask if you're single every year, some of these tips will be a great way to switch the conversation about what you don't have to what you do. Let's help each other navigate through the holidays this year.

Plan a Friends Gathering

Invite a few friends over to celebrate the holidays. If you don't have a lot of single friends, make it a girls only event so that you can protect yourself from getting into your feelings. Wondering how to get started, check out this post about hosting friends. For two years now I have hosted Friendsgiving at my apartment. Year 1 was a game night and year 2 was paint and sip!

Take a Stay-Cation

It doesn't have to be an expensive trip, but just to get away from your every day life. If you're on a tight budget, consider using a PTO day to relax and enjoy a day doing things you enjoy at home or have been putting off for when you have time. Try a restaurant that you've had saved or take a road trip to explore a new city.

Offer to Host your Family's Holiday Dinner

You'll be so busy being the hostess with the mostest, that you won't have time or energy to wallow in self-pity.(You catch my Grinch reference?) If you do not have the space or means to host, offer to take charge on handling the games, coordinating the menu or decorating. In my family I'm the single (soon to be) rich auntie, the only adult without a spouse or a kid. One year it clicked that instead of feeling sad about that, I could take advantage of the freedom to make sure we have family traditions that we all look forward to every year. I'm responsible for the games, and we have a wide range of ages and attention spans so I'm always coming up with ways to keep it fun for everyone.

Volunteer

Find a local pantry, a food drive or a church where you can donate some free time to helping those in need. If you don't have time to volunteer physically, adopt a child or family for the holidays. Helping others and serving your community will quickly help you reevaluate your feelings and acknowledge that you still have so much to be grateful for.

Start a Winter Hobby

Each year around the holidays is the perfect time to start thinking ahead to those New Years resolutions. Use this time to start researching or even trying out your new hobby to take up idle time. Over the years I have found a variety of hobbies that have helped me keep busy. It could be knitting, sewing, starting a fitness journey, learning to cook a new cuisine, redecorating, or reading! Find something to do, so that you aren't sitting around watching others live, when you could be living too.

Start Your Own Traditions

Who said you need a boyfriend or husband to do the holiday activities with? Maybe you'll start going to the Macy's Day parade or a local town parade every year. Facebook groups, Eventbrite and the Meetup app have lots of activities to help you get up and doing something. You can go with a friend, go with family or go solo. Building these traditions help you fill your calendar with things that make you happy!

There are too many things out there you can do that can bring you joy and remind you of the love you are surrounded by. Life is too short to wait on someone to come along for you to finally start doing things with. My dear sister, please don't dread the holidays just because you are single for another holiday season. I hope these tips encourage you to do something and the next time auntie ask you are you still single, you can respond by saying, yes but I've been busy doing these things. This is not to distract you from your feelings, but to channel the emotions into memories that will put a smile on your face.